I tell them that I am brave, courageous, that I would give my life for my people and my country. I tell them that Camelot is more important to me than anything, that I would gladly die to keep it safe from harm. I tell them that I will serve Camelot until my dying breath, but . . .
I have a secret.
A deep, dark secret, one that I've kept hidden inside me for as long as I can remember. It was the first thing I remember consciously thinking, and I know that someday it will be the last.
A secret that I've never been able to tell anyone, not a soul, because doing so would mean that I would have to admit it to myself first. And I'm not willing to do that.
I draw my sword and fight, but not because I'm protecting my people, not because I'd gladly give my life for them.
The only reason I fight is because I don't want to die.
But I am their prince. Prince Arthur of Camelot. So kind, so wonderful, so handsome, so brave. As a prince, I've committed my life to my country and all who live there. I will do anything, sacrifice anything, because I am the crown prince.
But I never had a choice.
Nobody asked me, before I was alive, who I wanted to be born as. Nobody has ever asked me whether or not I want to be a prince. Not once has anyone asked me whether I wanted to fight. When I'm asked if I would give my life for Camelot, I don't any other options. The only thing I can say is yes.
Over and over. "Will you die for your people?" "Will you commit your life to them?" "Will you uphold the peace and prosperity of Camelot, no matter the cost?"
"Yes. Yes. Yes." No.
And I can't take it any more. I really can't take it.
But there's nothing I can do, because I'm too afraid to die.